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Almost every day Christian parents tearfully acknowledge, "We've tried so hard to raise and instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. But still, after all of this, some of our children have strayed into sin. Why? We just don't understand."
Why do we face the problems?
Because children are born with a will. From the onset of the first whimper or cry, they are expressing their will. Then in their early years, their environment, culture, and morals play a big part in shaping their will.
While all of this is happening we, as Christian parents, do the best we know how to instill God's Word, His principles, and a life of godliness within them through Bible-reading, prayer, Sunday school, church and family devotions.
Somehow even amidst all the spiritual investment in our children, some still stray away from God for a season. The most heart-wrenching pain a parent can experience is to see their son or daughter fall into rebellion, turn against God and stray into sin. The parents' minds are then bombarded with; "Why? How could this have happened? Whose fault is it? Who is to blame?"
Allow us to share some of our observations, facts, feelings, and advice with you.
Don't dwell on the blame game. It's tempting and dangerous for one parent to toss the blame on the other parent. Avoid it at all costs! Channel your energies toward restoring the prodigal, rather than destroying the marriage relationship. Luke 11:17 says, "A house divided against itself will fall." Agree to re-evaluate. Look at your past mistakes and learn from them. Determine to pull together as a couple and fight the spiritual battle, not each other.
Forgive yourself and each other for the mistakes you have both made in child rearing. Lay aside your egos and pride. Then ask God to forgive you. Then go one step further: ask forgiveness of your prodigal for anything you did or said as a parent that caused him/her to stray. We've had to go to our daughter and son many times to ask forgiveness.
Realize your child has a will! It's inevitable that someday our children will have to exercise their own will and make their own choices and decisions. Whether right or wrong, they will be responsible for that choice, and have to live with it and learn from it…whatever the consequences. A part of growing up is falling down. As parents, what should we do? We shouldn't try to break their will, but try to bend the will. A will that is broken is a useless will, but the bending of one is directing it into the right channel with a purpose and goal.
Whatever you do, never reject or alienate them from the family. Resentment will keep them from ever coming back home. You are their parents, not just until they are eighteen, but for all eternity. When they come to their senses, they'll need a refuge to retreat to, and a family to love and guide them down the right path.
Love your prodigal unconditionally. That's hard, especially for a Christian parent whose principles and values have been willfully rejected and they have turned against all you believe and stand for. Nevertheless-LOVE THEM! No matter how tough it gets out there, they need to know they are loved. Tell them you love them. But, also express to them that you are hurt by their disobedience to God and you, their parents. It's okay to let them know you hurt…YOU ARE FAMILY.
Pray-pray-and pray like you never have before. You may have many, many sleepless nights ahead of you, so use those anxious, hurting hours and moments to pray for them. Let them know you are praying day and night for them. You may have to invest in a pair of football-player kneepads for all the hours you'll spend on your knees before God.
Give your children to God! Give God freedom to work in their lives as He chooses. That's hard! This helps lift that unbearable pain and burden. Psalm 68:19 says, "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."
Believe that God is able. He is able to return to you what Satan has stolen. Even if you don't see it, pray in the fourth dimension. See them serving God. See them loving God. Romans 4:17 says: "The God who gives life to the dead, and calls things that are not as though they were." Begin to call those things in their lives "that are not-as though they were." Be encouraged. God is able!
Lastly, begin to praise God for what He is going to do. Psalm 92:1 says, "It is good to praise the Lord…" Proclaim God's love in the morning and His faithfulness at night! Trust and praise Him until your victory comes.