Dr. Charles Stanley, in a teaching series titled "How to Handle Your Emotions," defines anger as "a sudden inner feeling of displeasure and antagonism toward what we assume to be an irritating factor. It can be an environmental situation or a person in our life-and soon that feeling begins to consume that person or factor." That really puts it in a nutshell.

An example of the power of anger is found in the Bible in the very first family. Cain brought an offering of fruit to the Lord and it was rejected. Then Abel presented his offering of his flock and the Bible says, "The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering" (Genesis 4:4b). Anger entered Cain; then bitterness toward his brother. It wasn't long before Cain was consumed with anger! The Bible says, "…Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him" (Genesis 4:8b). Cain killed Abel because of the giant of anger that got out of control in Cain's life.

Ephesians 4:26 (TLB) says, "If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry-get over it quickly, for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil."

People get angry for four basic reasons:

1. They can't have their own way.

2. They can't endure pain.

3. They are overcome by frustration and anxiety.

4. They feel injustice has been done to them or others.

When any of these four areas are tampered with in our lives, anger and bitterness surface. If we overreact, our control button flies off, throwing common sense, justice, love and understanding right out the window. This is usually followed by cutting words, screaming, fighting, broken spirits, hurt feelings, pouting-even physical harm and at times death.

Our prisons are filled with people who are there because they lost control of their temper. Anger surfaced and was given free rein, leading to personal assault and murder. Only after they had committed the crime did most of these people feel a release of their anger.

There are four ways to deal with anger:

1. You can repress it by pretending it doesn't exist. Pride will try to convince you that nothing's wrong-but when that anger keeps you awake at night for weeks, months or even years, you know it does exist.

2. You can suppress it by pushing anger down. You know it is there but you try to hold it in. It won't work, though! It's just like holding a balloon under water-by pressure you can hold it, but you have to let it go sometime. When it's released, watch out! It will fly out of your hands.

3. You can express it by cursing, screaming or cutting remarks, leaving scars on those to whom it has been expressed.

4. You can give it to Christ. This is the winning way to deal with anger and bitterness.

You must:

1. Confess your sin of anger.

2. Admit you need help and be willing to be helped.

3. Go to the one you are angry with and ask forgiveness: "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24).

Friend, if you've been fighting the acid of anger in your life or your marriage, you too can release it and be free! Please pray with me:

Lord, I admit I've been marred by the ugly acid of anger, and I don't want to suppress or repress it any more; it's eating me up. Right now, in the name of Jesus, I express my desire to be released. I surrender my own sinful nature that has ignited these explosions of anger. I ask You to fill me with Your love, peace and patience. Thank You, Lord. Amen!