Marriage includes 2 personalities two distinct ways of relating to money issues. According to a 1994 poll conducted by the Public Agenda Foundation there are four general personality styles when it comes to spending.

1. Impulsive - free spenders who have trouble denying themselves. They tend to live in the present and worry little about the future. They react impulsively and resist restraints.
   
2. Strugglers are fearful and feel that things are out of their control. They feel overwhelmed by the financial demands of the moment and cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel. They use credit card (debt) when they see no other way, which is most of the time.
   
3. Deniers refuse to worry. They tend to be blindly optimistic and believe that someone or something will come to their rescue. They over estimate their assets and under estimate their needs and avoid the reality of their debt.
   
4. Planners know exactly what their needs are. They have a clear anticipation of the future. They know where they spend their money. They make decisions beforehand about what they will buy, what they will save and they stick with that. They use debt cautiously if at all.

Differences in our personalities can cause some heated disagreements at the spending habits of the other. Financial discord is often listed as the major reason for divorce!

How do you as a couple, handle the area of finances? God's plan is for us to marry a person who shares a faith in God. This gives us common ground when things get tough. This wisdom helps us as married couples not play the my way or the highway game, but together base our values, trust and our decisions on a third party - God.

The husband has the final say but scripture tells him it should be used in honoring the wife. (Ephesians 5:25): "Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

A wife who is treated this way will gladly yield to a husband's authority.

6 things husbands must understand about their wives:

I Peter 3:7 NASB husbands are to be sensitive and try to understand their wives. Wives need to be cared for, to be understood, respected, to be loved, to be validated and reassured.

1. Cared for, means a husband's concern is for his wife. Decisions made which include her needs, desire and wants

2. Seek to understand her feelings and desires

3. Respected her feelings. She is an integral part of the decision

4. Show appreciation. Show daily concern and attention to her daily existence

5. Validate - acknowledge her opinions even if difference from yours. Refrain from critical, sarcastic remarks that target self worth

6. Reassure. Agape love is endless make your wife feel she is more important than any schedule or appointment.

6 things a wife must understand about her husband

Col 3:18 "Wives submit to your husband, as fitting in the Lord."

1. Trust - even if your home is a 2-income home a man needs to know he is trusted to take care of the family. The more he is trusted the more likely he is to rise to the occasion. Prov. 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding."

2. Acceptance - a wife should willingly receive and accept the differences in her husband, validating it are OK to have differences of opinion.

3. Appreciation - a wife needs to validate her husband's efforts. A man loves to know the money he makes is taking care of the family's needs.

4. Admiration - a wife who admires her husband bolsters his self-worth. He is more likely to include her in his decision making.

5. Approval - A wife doesn't have to be in agreement always to focus on the good rather than the bad.

6. Encouragement - a wife who encourages will bring out the hope and ability to keep working for the family.

Establish your values

We will serve and trust God with our finances

We will teach our children about Biblical Economics

We will be open and honest in the area of our finances

Values define a way of life… goals are about doing and having!

GOALS what must we do short and long term?

Even distinctly different personalities can be on the same page financially and create a secure financial future for themselves and their family.